Tamssmat

I realize that it is now January 2nd, so possibly not even appropriate to be writing up a New Years Resolution, but I assure you that this is not the typical lose 10 pounds and be nicer to my friends type of resolution.  I have been working on a theory over the past year or so and it has helped me a great deal- I’ve tried to pass this along to others and I have begun the process of writing a book on this concept.  The thoughts and ideas expressed herein represent my own way of thinking so you can either hold it against me or you can embrace it, but what you cannot do is to hold Tammi liable in any way.  She didn’t even know that I was going to take the time to write this little blog thingy.  I call my concept “Lowering Your Expectations”.  I do realize that this is not a typical title of your normal motivational book.  Usually they’ve got some bullshit upbeat little catch phrase to lure you in and then you find that they probably don’t have anything more to teach you than what your parents and teachers had told you during your young lives.  My concept of Lowering Your Expectations will almost assuredly improve your lives- I don’t promise a complete turn around, but I can virtually guarantee that this will be eye opening and you will be pleasantly surprised at the nearly instant results that you can gain from practicing these simple practices and working hard to Lower you Expectations.

OK- here’s the basic principal, lower your expectations on things and you’ll find that you will be a happier person most of the time.  I know that it sounds like a pessimistic attitude, but it’s really not.  What it will do for you is change your expectations about the desired outcomes of situations or events that you ultimately don’t have a lot of control over.  Here’s the most basic example and one that virtually anyone can relate to.  How many times have you looked forward to a movie that is being advertised and promoted heavily, the previews make it look like it’s going to be great and for weeks you are anxious to see the movie.  When the day finally arrives that you treat yourself to this movie, your expectations are that it is going to be fantastic.  After watching the show though, you are disappointed because it was not the super fantastic movie that you were hoping for.  So here’s how you can very simply apply my principles of lowering your expectations.  Try to not get so worked up and excited about the movie- you can still look forward to seeing it, but instead of going into the theatre all excited, walk in with the mindset that you are going to sit and enjoy a film for a couple of hours and not have to worry about work and the kids and the house that needs cleaning and the car that needs a tune up…..you get the idea.  Go into the movie with lower expectations and you’ll find that the movie won’t be such a disappointment.  Here’s another example- you are told from a friend about a great new restaurant that just opened, then you see an ad for the new place, then you drive by it a few times because it’s on the way to the grocery store- every time you see it you think about how great that place must be and you can’t wait to go there for an evening out.  Once you finally get the chance to go, you’ve got this amazing five star experience in your head- you sit down to find the menu isn’t all that amazing, the service is mediocre and the atmosphere is just OK.  You’re immediately disappointed and you’ll probably come away from the experience feeling like you’ve been duped.  If you change your mindset and lower your expectations to the point of “hey, let’s go check out this new restaurant” with the same menu, the same service and the same atmosphere, you will very likely find that your evening out will now be more enjoyable.  

 This is a very quick rendition of my concept of Lowering your Expectations.  I’m working on an entire book that will afford me the ability to lead into this more slowly and lay out the concepts and the psychology behind it much more effectively but I wanted to share it with the loyal Tamsmat readers so that you can give me some honest feedback about this.  I need you to all digest the overall idea and give it a try- here are some ways to implement the concepts into your own lives. 

As you spend the day at work, try not to get too excited about the project that a co-worker is working on with you, lower your expectations of your co-workers and you’ll find that whatever work they do accomplish will seem better. 

Go on a vacation with the mindset that you’re just wanting to be away from the office for awhile.  This way if the weather is bad or the accommodations are mediocre or the food isn’t that fabulous, you’ll still be satisfied because you’re not at work and anything over and above bad weather and bad food will be serendipitious.

Start a round of golf with the attitude that you’re just going to enjoy being outside for a few hours- too often golfers stand on the first tee ready to tear up the course and shoot a great round of golf, then they hit a bad shot or two and then mentally they can’t have any fun at all.

Sit down to watch a football game and try not to care about the outcome…it’s just a game afterall.  If you get yourself worked up to where it’s a must win game and your team loses- how does that affect you?  Would it be different if you could lower your expectations?

You go shopping because of a specific sale where everything is 50% off- except you when get there you find that you misread the ad and everything is “up to 50% off” and of course the sweater that you wanted to buy is only 25% off- big whoop since it was already 20% off the last time you were there.  So now you leave the store disappointed because your expectations were too high.  You’d feel a lot different if you went into the store with a different mindset.

There are countless ways that you can consciously apply my concept of Lowering your Expectations, but it is hard to really change your way of thinking overnight.  That is why a short description of this concept probably isn’t fair but I trust that all of you are intelligent enough to not just take this at face value.  Give it a fair chance and find ways to apply this to your own life- don’t just lower the bar on everything, there is a difference between lowering the bar and lowering your expectations, if you can see the difference and apply it accordingly I think you will start to feel like you have more positive experiences and fewer negative ones.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of situations that I come away from disappointed, but have you noticed how some people are always disappointed while others seem to generally enjoy things more- perhaps without even realizing it, the positive people have accepted the fact that life is not all gumdrops and butterflies.  I don’t think this means that you have a negative attitude- rather, I think it means that you leave room in your psyche for positive things to happen.

 Good luck to you all, I hope you give this a try and more importantly, I want your feedback.

The Todd

Let me begin by telling you that I am only writing because Tams pressured me into this. I’ve never blogged before although I have enjoyed reading about the life and times of Tams and The Boy. I’m a friend of Tammi’s, our friendship was born like so many of my friendships- through work. It is work that is actually affording me the time to write my blog. It’s New Years Eve- well, the day of the Eve, is there a name for the day of the “Eve”? I learned earlier this year that the day before Christmas Eve is now being referred to as Christmas Adam since the Good Book tells us that Adam came before Eve. Where am I going with this- I haven’t a clue nor do I expect you to be able to follow along since I am meandering like a mountain stream, always flowing downhill but rarely do I stay in one direction for very long. So okay- Tammi and I met through work- she sent us purchase orders so we liked Tammi very much. Then it came to our attention that we both were hooked on a couple of the same TV shows- which is quite a feat since I really only watch about 60 minutes of TV per week (I’m not counting football time- that is not really TV watching but rather it is more like going to church). As you all saw- Tammi requested guest bloggers- I don’t recall anyone voting for me but since my friend Tammi simply would not get off my back about submitting a blog- here I am, in all my New Years Eve Day glory- at my recently cleaned desk with nary a customer to call on and nothing to do. A perfect opportunity to spew some words that will likely mean nothing to anyone inclusive of myself.

Christmas has recently come to a close, I do look forward to Christmas but I look forward to Christmas being over more so than I look forward to the day itself. This year was quite exciting though in that my kids, of which I have three, received a Wii. I was looking forward to playing with them but my exposure to the Wii had only been in the bowling game- quite fun although it doesn’t really simulate bowling as much as I might like……blah blah blah- we bowled and had much fun. In addition to the Wii system, I surprised not only my kids, but also my wife with the additional purchase of Guitar Hero III for the Wii- now that, my friends, is one helluva game. I’m so addicted already. I’ve created a band called T-Rock, I’m almost certain that we’ll be touring soon so check your local concert schedule and come out to see me play. I’ve completed the circuit on the easy level and I’m about halfway through the medium difficulty level. Quite a feat for a 38 year old no talent fella! I rock harder than my kids and everyone in the neighborhood is envious of my skills. My wife spent most of the afternoon yesterday yelling downstairs to tell me to quit playing, but I simply couldn’t put my axe down! Every time I finish a song the game tells me something that I already know but never tire of hearing….YOU ROCK!!!! I wish I could just accept the fact that I rock and move on with my day but I must continue to rock and rock and rock. Metallica is fun to play and each time I jam to a Metallica tune I can’t help but daydream that I am playing to an audience of Tam’s- for you Tammi, I rock, I only wish you could be there to actually hear me play.

Enough about Guitar Hero….well, one more thing- if you don’t own this game then I am not interested in being your friend. Has anyone with children ever had a Christmas where enough batteries were purchased in advance? We try- we really do try to have enough of every kind of battery to get all of the new toys operational. This year, I thought we had nailed it- but no, we weren’t even close. We ended up with needs for at least four more C cells, one nine volt and at least 4 but possibly 6 AAA- we were good on the AA’s this year but ill prepared on the others listed above. There really should be a formula for ciphering how many batteries need to be purchased ahead of time. I’ve spoken with many friends about the battery situation so I know that I’m not entirely alone on this one but I’d like to see if anyone reading this can relate.

Hey- let’s talk football for a quick sec- the Patriots went undefeated…..quite a feat but my opinion is that none of their regular season wins are going to matter because I say that they won’t even make it to the AFC Championship game. My prediction for the Superbowl this year….Packers vs. Colts and unfortunately I think my mighty Packers will fail to achieve victory over Manning and his boys. Tammi- can you set up something for playoff predictions and Superbowl pics from your viewing audience. I’ve just shown my cards but I’d still like to hear what others think- I especially want to know your thoughts because no one knows football like you do.

I must now sign off and wish everyone a very Happy New Year- be safe, be drunk and make every effort to kiss your spouse first when the ball drops. I got in trouble for that last year and I hope to not make the same mistake again this year. Also I learned that a New Years kiss with your neighbor is supposed to just be a quick little peck- any more than that, although tempting and desirable, is frowned upon.

The Todd

They say we may have inclement weather tomorrow. I love snow. I love storms. I love the drama that meteorologists spew before, during, and after any sort of storms–be it flurries or blizzards (mmm, blizzard–I haven’t had ice cream for over 3 months.)

As I guest blog from Tammi’s dining room table, the Boy is texting a girlie and I’m acting as a typing monkey for Tammi (who is having an IM conversation with a coworker) In fact, I just sat up and used my apple-polisher posture and said “I’m a monkey” and made monkey noises and scratched my side. I digress…

Last year was my first rough winter where I had to commute daily to work. One hour to clean off my car, 1 hour to drive to work–2 hours of pure stress. Not so much because I don’t trust myself to drive in ice and snow, but because I don’t trust the whole of society to drive in ice and snow. Sorry people but I know all about drivers –and I don’t trust you because I am one of you.

It’s beginning to get cold and wintry in these parts–when it’s not being flaky Missouri “i was just teasing you suckers weather!”. It makes me want warm, soft, fuzzy things everywhere. I have firewood waiting for a nice cold Saturday. Please pray that I do not burn down my apartment building. (I’ve had fires before but cautious respect for the power of flame is healthy.)

Here are the warm fuzzy things I need/want this winter:

1. Warm, fuzzy socks–I have one pair. They are pink and white. I need more. Socks get dirty and then they aren’t as warm because they’ve been tainted by foot sweat.
2. Warm, fuzzy doggies.–I borrow other peoples’ dogs on occasion and am usually sated after a few hours of puppy love.
3. Warm, fuzzy boy. –I can’t really buy or borrow one of those. They are nice because they make you warm and fuzzy on the outside and the inside. And they can help you keep from burning down your apartment when you decide it’s fire time.
4. Warm, fuzzy blanket.–I am addicted to throw blankets. I have 4 in my living room. I really really want one of the furry blankets they have at Target but I refuse to buy one for myself *coughhintcoughhint* OH LOOK! A link to just such an item!
5. Warm, fuzzy kitty–I pet her first thing when I get home at night and she still jumps on my back and yowls.
6. Warm, fuzzy sweatshirts–I need more sweatshirts. I rotate between my super extra large blue Boulevard sweatshirt and my Missouri State sweatshirt. What are the rules about washing hoodies? I mean, you always wear a shirt under them so there’s a barrier…sooo. I think I’ll stop before people think I’m nasty. (Ms. Jackson?)
7. Warm, fuzzy pj pants!–divinity; unless you haven’t shaved your legs for a few days. Then you’re your own warm, fuzzy pants.

Well, I suppose I’ve taken up enough of Tammi’s blog real estate for one night. I can’t get the puppy love song out of my head.

Peace Out!

So I’m trying to convince a few of my peers (and a couple people that I will never be able to call my peers) to guest blog. Am I the only one that thinks this would be great fun?!!?!!

Please cast your votes, who would YOU like to hear from?? This will help me convince them!!

1. My Dad

2. My Sister

3. Greg Gragg

4. The Todd

5. Britain White

6. Rebecca

7. My Brother-In-Law Bill

8. Random Guest

9. Katie

10. Aaron Burlison

VOTE MY GOOD PEOPLE!! VOTE!!!