Tamssmat

I have noticed a pattern in myself and I am determined to break it.  I see no benefits to maintaining this behavior in myself.  I actually noticed this quite some time ago and only recently have taken efforts to correct it.  What I am talking about is my need to finish what I started.  Now I understand that in most cases, this is a good quality but I believe I have taken this to a whole new level.  I read this book called “Kate” about Katherine Hepburn and I can honestly say that I did not enjoy one moment of it.  The author was just sure that she was a lesbian so the entire book was peppered with “proof” of this.  I am not convinced and I finished the whole stupid LONG book.  This tells me 2 things:
1. He is a terrible author.  He was unable to sway the reader to what was obviously his sole purpose in writing the book and
2. I need to learn when to stop reading a bad book

I also seem to have this issue when dating.  I don’t date very much.  It’s just not fun to me.  I like my life the way it is and have very little need for more to be added to it.  However, when I was involved in my most recent relationship (everyone in my life knows the name of this individual so I feel no need to put his name in here) I stuck it out to the very bitter end.  We dated for almost 3 years and if I’m completely honest with myself, it should have ended after about 8 months.  Not only did I stick that out until it couldn’t be more obviously over, I got back together with this man after about a year of separation.  He’s a great man, don’t get me wrong.  He just doesn’t want the same things that I want and therefore it was clear after the romancing me phase that it wasn’t going to work but I still stuck it out.

I can say now though that I have started to change my ways on both accounts.  I chose to end the relationship this past December because it was pointless to continue it and I’ve been there before.  I am proud to say that I have also given up on 3 books recently.  I am a firm believer in giving them their fair chances, you never know when it is going to get good or who would publish it?  One of them was about a whore in King Henry’s court and I can’t tolerate that so it went into the kindling pile by my fire place.  Another was pleasant enough but was dreadfully boring and had no story.  The first chapter was about this minister in a small town and a stray dog that he adopted.  The next chapter was about him buying a big tub to bathe said dog in.  The next chapter was about the town throwing him a 60th birthday party.  I think I read another chapter before I decided that it was just to boring to waste my time on.  I gave that one to my Mom for her to pass on to my Grandma or someone that might enjoy it.  I can’t imagine who would but someone must. 

My point?  I’m learning, I’m growing and dagnabit I’m not wasting my time anymore!