Tamssmat

1. You pride yourself on learning a long time ago to put mascara on with your mouth closed.
2. The show ‘Lost’ has taken up too much of your spare brain space.
3. Several life habits are recently being adapted to fit your ever changing style.
4. You haven’t been knitting very much lately.
5. Yarn doesn’t fit into your budget.
6. The next book in the Sookie Stackhouse series doesn’t come out until May and that is sad to you.
7. Walking has been fun lately because you go further and have a walking buddy.
8. You haven’t had a cigarette in over 3 weeks.
9. You’re looking for a VERY cheap easy chair for your living room so you can re-arrange the furniture.
10. CraigsList hates you.

The aforementioned James, Kirk, Metallica and a picture of my Dad’s dog Cindy.  Cause she’s just so cute!

 I have figured out how to add pictures!!!  BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!! 

Rebecca, Adrienne, me and Sarah the night of my going away party from Gragg.  You can see Greg in the background!

I was texting someone that was probably only a few feet away from me.

 1. My Dad made it about 28 years ago and just never finished putting the pieces together.
2. It has a snowflake pattern.
3. The pattern is not complete and I see no reason to finish it.
4. It’s bulky and somewhat shapeless which suits my too-big-belly just fine.
5. It’s warm and snuggly.
6. It gets comments and compliments which gives me a reason to brag about my Father.
7. It’s encouragement for me to finish my first sweater, a terrifying project of which I’ve finally started.
8. How many people do you know that get to wear something their parent made?
9. I can say I did it because I did put the pieces together.  No one has to know that I didn’t do very much of it.
10. I gives me one more reason to pity the people that think I’m the loser because I knit.

When I was a much younger individual, our parents were very involved in the church we attended so naturally we knew almost everyone that also went there.  They had become close friends with 3 other couples from a church they had all previously attended and some of those families also went to our church.  We called ourselves “the 4 families” and still do to this day.  We grew up with their kids, carpooled to school with one of the families, had Christmas get-togethers (still do only now they also include a myriad of babies) and generally spent much time together.  One of the couples had only daughters like my parents so there were times that we spent with just them.  There was also a single lady that went to this same church that became friends with our mother.  She was older than the 4 family parents and was single with no children and no matter how they tried to involve her in the circle, she just didn’t seem to fit.  She was however very fond of us girls and since she had, for whatever reason, never had any children of her own she took a huge liking to my sister and myself and the 3 girls of the other son-less family.  We of course loved all of the attention we got from her.  After some time, we were told that she would like for us all to call her “Auntie”.  This seemed odd to me at the time and I’m not sure I ever resolved those awkward feelings about it.  I don’t know why it would have ever seemed off to me.  I loved her, as quirky and odd as she was, in a certain way, I loved her.  I was young and she showered me with attention and presents.  She would have a
“Christmas in July” party for the 5 of us girls and we’d have a slumber party and presents and games.  It was a great time, I loved the other 4 girls and enjoyed my time.  I think what made it awkward for me was that I never truly felt close to her.  Maybe it was because she was so different from the other adults in my life that I just never knew what to make of her. 

Eventually, as I grew into my teen years, she faded from my life.  I know she was still close with our Mom, hell, she still may be for all I know, but she either decided we were no longer fun since we were teens and angsty, or we decided she wasn’t fun anymore no matter how many gifts she gave us.  Maybe she decided to start attending another church?  I honestly have no idea.  Lately though, I have been thinking a lot about her.  I believe that she and I probably have a lot of personality quirks in common.  At the very least, from the impression I got from my parents, we would probably appreciate each others weirdness more than others would.  Maybe we’d have an understanding of each other that only someone with similar issues could have.  I don’t know why as of late I have wished that she had never faded from my life or why I have been thinking about her, but I have.

I have noticed a pattern in myself and I am determined to break it.  I see no benefits to maintaining this behavior in myself.  I actually noticed this quite some time ago and only recently have taken efforts to correct it.  What I am talking about is my need to finish what I started.  Now I understand that in most cases, this is a good quality but I believe I have taken this to a whole new level.  I read this book called “Kate” about Katherine Hepburn and I can honestly say that I did not enjoy one moment of it.  The author was just sure that she was a lesbian so the entire book was peppered with “proof” of this.  I am not convinced and I finished the whole stupid LONG book.  This tells me 2 things:
1. He is a terrible author.  He was unable to sway the reader to what was obviously his sole purpose in writing the book and
2. I need to learn when to stop reading a bad book

I also seem to have this issue when dating.  I don’t date very much.  It’s just not fun to me.  I like my life the way it is and have very little need for more to be added to it.  However, when I was involved in my most recent relationship (everyone in my life knows the name of this individual so I feel no need to put his name in here) I stuck it out to the very bitter end.  We dated for almost 3 years and if I’m completely honest with myself, it should have ended after about 8 months.  Not only did I stick that out until it couldn’t be more obviously over, I got back together with this man after about a year of separation.  He’s a great man, don’t get me wrong.  He just doesn’t want the same things that I want and therefore it was clear after the romancing me phase that it wasn’t going to work but I still stuck it out.

I can say now though that I have started to change my ways on both accounts.  I chose to end the relationship this past December because it was pointless to continue it and I’ve been there before.  I am proud to say that I have also given up on 3 books recently.  I am a firm believer in giving them their fair chances, you never know when it is going to get good or who would publish it?  One of them was about a whore in King Henry’s court and I can’t tolerate that so it went into the kindling pile by my fire place.  Another was pleasant enough but was dreadfully boring and had no story.  The first chapter was about this minister in a small town and a stray dog that he adopted.  The next chapter was about him buying a big tub to bathe said dog in.  The next chapter was about the town throwing him a 60th birthday party.  I think I read another chapter before I decided that it was just to boring to waste my time on.  I gave that one to my Mom for her to pass on to my Grandma or someone that might enjoy it.  I can’t imagine who would but someone must. 

My point?  I’m learning, I’m growing and dagnabit I’m not wasting my time anymore!

Hot guy is here with his fiancee today.  Sad day indeed.  I got to eavesdrop on them being counselled by the owner of the shop on their upcoming wedding.  I think I hate her.

 Also, I haven’t had a cigarette for 10 days!!!

I’m contemplating writing a book with the encouragement of my friend Amanda.  (Amanda doesn’t read my blog so I can say whatever I want about her and maybe she’s not that great of a friend after all if she neglects the quality work I’m already doing here.)  I of course have contemplated this for some time.  I think I could do it and I think I could do it well.  It’s a lot of work but what else am I doing these days?  I’m sure you all vividly recall the post a little while back about a book I read by a fellow blogger that was nothing more than a bunch of blog posts published as a book.  It was pure crap.  But if that’s all it takes, I’ve already got my substance right here.  I don’t want to be THAT girl though.  I want to create something worth reading and not just by my 3 friends and my parents.  Correction, my 2 friends because Amanda doesn’t read this. 

So in contemplating how to best go about starting this monstrosity I have decided that I need a mini tape recorder.  Anyone that knows me knows that my memory is absolute crap.  I’ll have a great idea and by the time I get to anywhere to record it, it’s gone from me.  So I need a tape recorder.  This will also enable me to record various knitting group conversations unbeknown-st to the rest of the group and use that as if it were my own creation!  I”m just kidding!  I wouldn’t do that!  Or would I?

I also need to put together an outline.  I know it must involve knitting but I don’t want that to be a main theme, just a background.  I’ve also thought about making a list of words that I really like and want to include. 

I suppose if I really intended to do this I would have put some effort into it by now.  Maybe it’s just fun to talk about!  Maybe, when I’m old and have nothing else to talk about and everyone that knows me is in a different nursing home than the one I’m in, I’ll tell all the other old people all about the book I almost wrote that would have made me rich and famous and eccentric rather than just odd.  Or maybe, since they’re all old and don’t know any better anyway, I’ll tell them that I actually did write said book and that I AM really famous.  Silly old people.

Today at 2:00 P.M. I will have officially been a non-smoker for a whole week!!  EEEEEEE!!

I feel compelled to recant my previous complaints about my local coffee shop.  I have been coming here regularly (up to 3 times a week) since I have been not working and am finding that the things that used to drive me nuts, no longer bother me.  The main reason for my conversion however, is the owner.  Last Thursday, I came in with 2 partially filled punch cards and no money.  Once you get a punch card full, you get a free coffee.  I planned on praying on their generosity and asking if I could combine the two cards for a coffee.  The owner happened to be working the counter when I came in and since one of the cards only needed one more punch, he just took that as if it were full and gave me a coffee.  “I’ll gladly give you a latte today for money on Tuesday.”  I told him I would be more than willing to pay for said coffee the very next day when funds would be replenished and he refused to allow me.  Apparently, my loyalty is cheap.  As it turns out, I can be bought for the low low price of an iced vanilla mocha.

Some of my other complaints have seemed to disappear as well.  I used to be annoyed by some of the employees here but have grown to accept them for their quirks.  Saying that I appreciate them or enjoy them would be taking it to far for now.  I do wish they had a fire place for the cold days like LatteLand but I can accept a comfy chair in a warm building instead.  I am still uncomfortable with some of the groups that frequent this establishment but fortunately, they don’t tend to be here when I am as I have learned when to avoid being here.

http://mocoloco.com/art/archives/newport_knitting_jun_05.jpg.  I just found this and it amused me.  It has nothing to do with the coffee shop.

It’s been 45 hours since I had a cigarette and I really think I’ve only gotten cranky once!!