Tamssmat

I realize that it is now January 2nd, so possibly not even appropriate to be writing up a New Years Resolution, but I assure you that this is not the typical lose 10 pounds and be nicer to my friends type of resolution.  I have been working on a theory over the past year or so and it has helped me a great deal- I’ve tried to pass this along to others and I have begun the process of writing a book on this concept.  The thoughts and ideas expressed herein represent my own way of thinking so you can either hold it against me or you can embrace it, but what you cannot do is to hold Tammi liable in any way.  She didn’t even know that I was going to take the time to write this little blog thingy.  I call my concept “Lowering Your Expectations”.  I do realize that this is not a typical title of your normal motivational book.  Usually they’ve got some bullshit upbeat little catch phrase to lure you in and then you find that they probably don’t have anything more to teach you than what your parents and teachers had told you during your young lives.  My concept of Lowering Your Expectations will almost assuredly improve your lives- I don’t promise a complete turn around, but I can virtually guarantee that this will be eye opening and you will be pleasantly surprised at the nearly instant results that you can gain from practicing these simple practices and working hard to Lower you Expectations.

OK- here’s the basic principal, lower your expectations on things and you’ll find that you will be a happier person most of the time.  I know that it sounds like a pessimistic attitude, but it’s really not.  What it will do for you is change your expectations about the desired outcomes of situations or events that you ultimately don’t have a lot of control over.  Here’s the most basic example and one that virtually anyone can relate to.  How many times have you looked forward to a movie that is being advertised and promoted heavily, the previews make it look like it’s going to be great and for weeks you are anxious to see the movie.  When the day finally arrives that you treat yourself to this movie, your expectations are that it is going to be fantastic.  After watching the show though, you are disappointed because it was not the super fantastic movie that you were hoping for.  So here’s how you can very simply apply my principles of lowering your expectations.  Try to not get so worked up and excited about the movie- you can still look forward to seeing it, but instead of going into the theatre all excited, walk in with the mindset that you are going to sit and enjoy a film for a couple of hours and not have to worry about work and the kids and the house that needs cleaning and the car that needs a tune up…..you get the idea.  Go into the movie with lower expectations and you’ll find that the movie won’t be such a disappointment.  Here’s another example- you are told from a friend about a great new restaurant that just opened, then you see an ad for the new place, then you drive by it a few times because it’s on the way to the grocery store- every time you see it you think about how great that place must be and you can’t wait to go there for an evening out.  Once you finally get the chance to go, you’ve got this amazing five star experience in your head- you sit down to find the menu isn’t all that amazing, the service is mediocre and the atmosphere is just OK.  You’re immediately disappointed and you’ll probably come away from the experience feeling like you’ve been duped.  If you change your mindset and lower your expectations to the point of “hey, let’s go check out this new restaurant” with the same menu, the same service and the same atmosphere, you will very likely find that your evening out will now be more enjoyable.  

 This is a very quick rendition of my concept of Lowering your Expectations.  I’m working on an entire book that will afford me the ability to lead into this more slowly and lay out the concepts and the psychology behind it much more effectively but I wanted to share it with the loyal Tamsmat readers so that you can give me some honest feedback about this.  I need you to all digest the overall idea and give it a try- here are some ways to implement the concepts into your own lives. 

As you spend the day at work, try not to get too excited about the project that a co-worker is working on with you, lower your expectations of your co-workers and you’ll find that whatever work they do accomplish will seem better. 

Go on a vacation with the mindset that you’re just wanting to be away from the office for awhile.  This way if the weather is bad or the accommodations are mediocre or the food isn’t that fabulous, you’ll still be satisfied because you’re not at work and anything over and above bad weather and bad food will be serendipitious.

Start a round of golf with the attitude that you’re just going to enjoy being outside for a few hours- too often golfers stand on the first tee ready to tear up the course and shoot a great round of golf, then they hit a bad shot or two and then mentally they can’t have any fun at all.

Sit down to watch a football game and try not to care about the outcome…it’s just a game afterall.  If you get yourself worked up to where it’s a must win game and your team loses- how does that affect you?  Would it be different if you could lower your expectations?

You go shopping because of a specific sale where everything is 50% off- except you when get there you find that you misread the ad and everything is “up to 50% off” and of course the sweater that you wanted to buy is only 25% off- big whoop since it was already 20% off the last time you were there.  So now you leave the store disappointed because your expectations were too high.  You’d feel a lot different if you went into the store with a different mindset.

There are countless ways that you can consciously apply my concept of Lowering your Expectations, but it is hard to really change your way of thinking overnight.  That is why a short description of this concept probably isn’t fair but I trust that all of you are intelligent enough to not just take this at face value.  Give it a fair chance and find ways to apply this to your own life- don’t just lower the bar on everything, there is a difference between lowering the bar and lowering your expectations, if you can see the difference and apply it accordingly I think you will start to feel like you have more positive experiences and fewer negative ones.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of situations that I come away from disappointed, but have you noticed how some people are always disappointed while others seem to generally enjoy things more- perhaps without even realizing it, the positive people have accepted the fact that life is not all gumdrops and butterflies.  I don’t think this means that you have a negative attitude- rather, I think it means that you leave room in your psyche for positive things to happen.

 Good luck to you all, I hope you give this a try and more importantly, I want your feedback.

The Todd