Tamssmat

So a friend of mine said to me in response to my asking if he was heading to the next bar with us “I’m kindof unavailable”.  Now what do you suppose he meant by that??  Am I to assume that we are not in fact friends but that he thinks that I want something more??  At first it didn’t even register, my response was “OK!!  So are you going to the Caddy??”  I don’t think it hit me until the following morning and then I got angry.  Why does it have to be that way??  I guess there are a majority of the singles out there always looking for something with someone, anyone but I’m not one of those.  I am so content with my life as it is, that I am so aware that finding someone that can fit into it with me, and every one of my pets and my son - virtually impossible.

I have not given up on love, nay.  Never think that my lovelies.  I’m just not interested in most of the boys that present themselves in my life.  This fella, sure, there was a drunken night where it could have gone farther.  But I’ve been so grateful ever since that it didn’t.  So maybe I need to just have a talk with him.  I don’t know.  I’m still a little peeved about it but at the same time we never talked about anything after that “one night” so maybe I can’t really blame him for thinking what he did.  Or maybe, I’m reading too much into a drunken statement and all that was really meant by it was, “I can’t go, I’ve made other plans” who’s to say??

My point??  I have more love in my life than a lot of other people out there and this weekend has been another one of those times that just helped that fact hit home for me.  I am blessed.  I have an amazing family that supports me through everything.  My mood swings, my financial situations, my needs for solitude.  I have wonderful friends that can come over and hang out on my couch and do laundry and don’t care that I’m sitting here in my jammies not paying attention to them at all.  And yet others that still love me in spite of my constant flakiness and lack of effort to spend time with them.  They’ll still be there the instant I need them.  And then the ones that include me in their family events, let me talk to their daughter on the phone whenever something happens that I should know all about, back me and teach me at work.  That’s more than a lot of people can say.  I also have a remarkable son that called me to make sure the dog hand-off went OK with the ex.

I got to spend the day at my sister’s house yesterday and it was, as always, a much needed break from the norm.  She cooked biscuits and gravy (first try and it was delicious!!), the James fat head got to run around for hours with Merle and CC, I had a nap on their couch, she made lunch.  It was a great day.  I needed it.  Sometimes, all I need is some quality sister time to get me back on track.  Not to say that I was really feeling that far off track, but there’s times that it helps when I didn’t even know I needed it.