Tamssmat

Yep, that’s right.  GONE.  As of around noon today, I have been smoke free.  Adrienne and I both signed contracts with one Mr. Greg Gragg to quit the “cancer sticks”.  This should be interresting and I’ll try to keep you all updated with my personal highs and lows of this little journey. 

My arrangement with Greg is that I will quit smoking and after 6 months, he’ll pay me $750 cash.  If I cheat or fail within that first 6 months, I have to pay him $250 cash, immediately.  I don’t know about you all but I don’t tend to have $250 on hand on just any given day so that is reason enough not to cheat or fail.  After the first 6 months, and after the payout, I have to stay “clean” for the next 6 months.  If in this second portion of the year I fail or cheat, I do not have to pay him $250 of my own cash moneys BUT I do have to reimburse him for the $750 he gave me.

One whole year.  I’m intimidated by the people that I’ve talked to that have told me that the urge to smoke never really goes away.  I went to lunch today with a gentleman that told me about his dad and how he was a smoker for many years.  His dad quit smoking and 3 years later (3 YEARS) he was sitting as his desk working on something and reached for his cigarettes and even got so far as to ask his coworkers if any of them had borrowed them when he finally realized, “oh yeah, I don’t smoke anymore”.  Of course, I don’t know this fellow so it could well be that he’s just plain senile but still, THAT COULD BE ME!! 

Instead of dwelling on this however, I think I shall start planning what I’m going to spend my cash flow on.  6 months can fly by don’t you know.  Let’s list out 10 things that I’d like to have…

1.  A new couch

2. Repaint the interior of my house

3. Repaint the exterior of my house

4. A fence for the dog (soon to be plural as I’ve just learned this evening that James is coming to live with us)

5. Books!!

6. A new truck (or shall I say, a couple of new truck payments)

7. A day at the spa x2

8. Fix and populate the coy pond/fountain in my front yard

9. Pay someone to mow my yard for me

10. Shopping spree

I’ve devised a plan to go for a walk each time I get a craving.  Granted, I am using the patch but there are still issues to be overcome so the walking will help not only that, but the fat issue as well.  I absolutely refuse to eat more like most quitters do.  No sense in trading one unhealthy addiction for another yo.  I’ll walk thank you very much and I might take some of you with me.  Who wouldn’t love a few minutes away from their desk to take a stroll around the building??  You can thank me with flowers.

So I guess what I’m saying is that at the end of day 1, I’m hopeful.  I’m positive.  I’m already coughing.

Annoys me something fierce.  Why must he breath? 

So, things are and aren’t going my way lately. I am not very good at not getting my way. I think that things should always be going my way. Selfish?? SURE! But why not?? If I’m not constantly searching for what I want and aqcuiring it, what’s the point?? Do I get annoyed at the boy when he insists on getting his way?? Of course. My response more often than not is “life’s not fair, deal”. But these are the things that make me cranky, the not getting my ways.

I have however been spending some quality time lately with my friends at work and that has been good for me. I’ve missed that so there’s at least one thing that I’m getting my way on. And don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of others. There are just a couple of things that I seem to be dwelling on lately. I need to either give up on them and assume I never wanted them in the first place thereby still always managing to get my way. Or, I need to figure out how to make them happen. You see?? Either way, I win!!

Do I have a point here you ask?? Am I going to divulge these desires to you my precious readers?? Nope. On both accounts.

OK, change of plans, I’ll tell you one of them. My tooth still hurts and I want to have that taken care of. That is one of my wants. I’m teething and it’s making me cranky. I woke up this morning with something swollen and I couldn’t shut my jaw. That’s pretty sad I tell you. I’ve been doping up on Ibuprophen all day. Good times.

What else is there that I can divulge without too much grief?? I want more time to read. There’s another one of my wants. Reading. I just don’t have enough time for it and my “to read” pile is rather large and its full of books that look really good!! Of course, a part of this one is my fault. If I would just quit spending my entire day on Sundays watching football (and Monday nights) then I’d find more time to read. But a girls gotta have priorities now. Maybe I should take a couple of extra days off in December for this purpose alone but that’s so far away!!

That’s all you get. For now. I’m sure I’ll get un-grumpy enough to share more at a later date but not tonight. Homegirl has work to get done.

1. Be accountable. If you muck something up, find out quick how to fix it and get it done. Don’t ever try to hide it or pretend you didn’t do it. The truth will come out and at that point, it ain’t pretty. Growing up, if dad found out that I had been hiding my D- in Social Studies, I was spending the next couple of weeks indoors studying and doing random chores.
2. Manage your clients expectations. My clients, as part of the Operations department, are the staffers. They can be at times both easy and difficult to please but overall, I enjoy working with them. This goes along with being accountable. If my dad didn’t already know that I could get good grades, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have been so outraged when he found out that I’d done poorly. Nevermind the fact that I knew my grade 2 weeks before he did and didn’t bother to warn him.
3.Work hard and play hard. There are days when I come home from work and all I can muster the energy to do is crawl into my jammies and colapse on the couch. But we make up for it. There are also those days that I stumble in to work right at 8:30 and try to work off a hangover.
4. Deliver when promised. No one likes to have to ask where something is. If you promised it, deliver it. No excuses. If you aren’t going to meet your deadline, work harder or go to them immediately and let them know. If I tell my son that I’ll buy him Halo 3 by November 1st, there’s no way he’s going to let me get away with getting it on the 2nd.
5. Not many people are cut out for the Advertising world. Ours is a beast of it’s own. I cannot necessarily relate this one to the outside world, but it has taugh me a lot about myself. I’m more of a work-a-holic than I thought I was. I’m a perfectionist. I don’t like people that spend a lot of time chatting when they should be working. We all have to stop some times and visit, it’s a needed break in a high pace environment. I spend quality time wandering the office getting to know the staff and signing them up to bring food they don’t really want to have to cook. But this is also why I don’t get all of my stuff done like I’d like to.
6. Working more than 13 hours in one day makes you lose your mind. A conversation I just had with a coworker?? Me: Gar He: Yar Me: Ha! He: Ba! He needs to go home. I’m getting worried. Remind me to buy him booze some time.
7. 80% Business, 20% Heart. At home it should be the opposite. 80% Heart, 20% Business.
8. When in doubt, talk to Darryl. The man has all the answers. What can I say. In my personal life?? Yeah, I have a Darryl, it’s just not the same one. And he has a different name….but you know what I mean. (Do I even know what I mean?? Not sure. I may have to explore this one more at a later date.)
9. Get up and go talk about it. Email and texting are my preferred methods of contact with humans. I just don’t do well with people expecting me to drop what I’m doing to talk. Its so much easier to answer all questions at once when I get to it. These things can be misread though, so sometimes, you just have to walk all the way upstairs and talk to people. It really does work wonders is all I’m sayin’.
10. Booze is a gift from God.
11. YES!! Thank you Greg. #11. Believe or leave.

I’m feeling quite irritable this afternoon.  And my day started off so well!!  Maybe I’m getting sick.  My poor boy is feeling bored and starved for attention and today, for some reason, I just don’t have the energy to give him what he’s needing.  This is when my Mother usually swoops in and saves me.  I can call her and see what she’s doing and ask her if she wants to do something with the boy if I need a rest and she’ll do it.  Today however, I don’t want to bother her.  Not that it is a bother to her, mind you.  She loves LOVES her time with the boy.  I just feel like a burden on her precious little free time.  So I’m doing everything I can this afternoon to remain calm, and patient (not a quality that your gal pal Tams has) and polite so that our precious boy does not suffer for my mood swings.

Also contributing to my cranky behavior, I have a wisdom tooth that seems to be growing in and is causing me much pain and suffering.  It’s difficult to eat.  It’s difficult to do anything other than complain and dig at it with a toothpick.  The sad thing, I have great dental insurance through my office, but it’s nearing the end of October and I have used it all up for the year.  Alas, I must wait until January to get this taken care of.  So my dear friends, pray that I just have something stuck in there and that I’ll work it out today or you’re all going to be made miserable for the next 3 months.  Dental work is extremely expensive.  I can’t afford to pay for crap like this, ESPECIALLY going into the Christmas season.  Word.

So I’m sitting here at Starbucks for my regular Sunday morning coffee with Katie.  Getting some work done, you know, whatever.  We had to come inside because it’s to windy outside and the good cushy chairs were taken.  Correction, they were empty except for a book.  NO HOLDSIES BACKSIES!!!  I was tempted to just go right ahead and sit but Katie isn’t in the best of moods this morning so in an effort to keep her from being uncomfortable with the situation I was creating, we mosied to the back of the store and set up shop there.  The music is absolute CRAP.  It’s annoying, distracting, even enraging at times but I’m chugging along doing my thing just fine until I go outside for a cigarette.  This bizarre fellow rides his bike up (not all that weird considering I wish I’d use my legs occasionally instead of driving everywhere).  What threw me about him was that he proceded to grab a chair and chain his bike to it.  I’m sitting there thinking, hm….I bet if I really wanted to, I could throw that bike and that chair right on in the back of my truck.  Granted, I don’t have a truck, but I should.  This is not the point my pretties.  The point is, what the hell kind of security is that??  So I’m already leery of this fellow.  Then I return to my station inside to find that he has parked his weird self right next to us.  Mui Uncomfortable.  If he starts trying to talk to us, I swear I’ll throw the laptop at his head and run for my life.

Other than this, my morning is quite uneventful.  Of course it’s football day so that’s what I’ll be doing an hour from now until I can’t stay awake any longer.

Last night we all congregated at Mom and Dad’s house to celebrate my Dad’s birthday.  That was a good time while I could last.  I always enjoy my family.  But for some reason last night I just wasn’t feeling myself and all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed.  So that’s what I did.  I just know though that I missed something fun.  I always do when I leave before April and Bill do.  Its like when you’re in a bar with good friends.  You just keep on drinking instead of going home because you know that if you don’t, they’re going to bond on some level that you were left out of because you wanted to go home so you could make it through the work day tomorrow.  Forget that!!  Always stay!!  My family is like that to me.  (Is this a sick comparison??  Maybe, but it’s true.)  I have a hard time leaving them because they could bond on some level without me and that is just unacceptable.  The next family get together will likely be Christmas.  We don’t tend to do anything for Thanksgiving.  They usually go “down home” and spend that day with the extended family which quite frankly is just to overwhelming for me.  I’ll stay home thank you very much.  On that level, I’m oddly OK with them bonding without me.

So today is my sister and brother-in-law’s anniversary!!!  YAY!!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!  I aspire to what they have.  I envy it.  It is so admirable to me that people like them exist.  I love you Bill and April and I’m so proud of you.  What is it now??  This is 12 years isn’t it??  WOW.  In this day and age, that is impressive and I can’t wait to see them still supporting each other through everything in another 12 years.  Of course, by then, they’ll be supporting each other through taking care of our parents because that is April’s job.  I’ll pop in from time to time of course and spread my cheer and charm, but I’m not changing diapers.  That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

My amazing and wonderful father has allowed me the honor of using his little red truck for the weekend.  Those of you that know very much about me (or live right up the street from me but don’t read my blog…AMANDA) know that my car has been crapping out on me as of late.  She is still in the shop while the boys do whatever it is they do to try and repair her.  This has been going on for about 2 weeks now and I’m quite honestly fed up with her.  This last time, she died facing Thoroughbred Ford.  Leaving me sitting there staring at the trucks that I am not allowed to replace her with but long to do so.  I think she can sense the negative energy and is getting even with me for ever having desires for a new truck.  Whatever.  I hate her.

So, I’m blogging to you today from my dear friend Katie’s laptop.  It’s a very long and tiring story that I shall not bore you with, just know that your Tams is not entirely content with things at work right now.  Never fear, I hope to be at Gragg Advertising for a great long while yet.  I mean really, who doesn’t get disgruntled occasionally??  Desire to know more??  Call me.  (I don’t answer my phone very often though so odds of you learning about this are slim to none.  Just telling you now so you don’t get any of your precious little hopes up yo.)

It’s Saturday and it has been raining a very cold and hard rain since sometime in the night.  I am loving it.  What a great day this is turning out to be.  The loud thunders woke both myself and the boy up at about 3:30 this morning so we got up and started our morning early.  It was fun.  The hamster was carelessly spinning away on his wheel when the loudest of thunders (and I kid you not here, the boy and I can sleep through damn near anything so this one had to be extremely strong) hit and he just sorta stopped.  It made me giggle a little.  “What was that!?!?!!”  Oh the things that were likely going through his tiny little brain at that moment!!  Soon after, he was racing for his life again as if nothing had ever happened.  Oh to be that simple.

Alas, I feel that I should be done blogging now as this is not my computer (grimace) and I am close to finishing a very good book.  I need to get it finished before Katie’s brother Brian hits town because then it’ll be time for me to drive the little red truck again to meet him for lunch!!!

Yes, I realize that I have not been giving you, my fans, the book reviews I promised but I have a good reason!! Alesia is making me watch TV!! I don’t have time to read right now!! Blame her, I do. I’ll give you some recommendations soon my pretties, I promise.

Shows she’s responsible for my addiction to??

Life (not technically her fault but it’s on the same channel as something.)

Dirty, Sexy, Money (kinda cheesetastic but fun.)

The Dog Whisperer (this man really should be president.)

The Office (again, not technically her fault, but she talks to me about the episodes so I HAVE to watch!)

And the worst one??  So You Think You Can Dance.

1. I love it how special teams holds hands when they run. Of course this is to protect the one actually running with the ball, but it’s adorable.

2. I love it when they slap each other on the butt as a way of saying “good job”.

3. I love it that girls can wear pink to the games no matter what team you love.

4. I love it when the Quarter Back holds the ball for the field goal kick.

5. I love the pure sportsmanship of throwing someone to the ground and then extending your hand.

6. I love the man that slaps that hand away.

7. I love it that I can spend from 11:00 AM up until I go to bed on Sundays watching football.

8. I love the football commercials, the ones with the players. Even the ones with the announcers.

9. I love it that all retired players think they should be announcers even though they really aren’t that smart.

10. I love it that there’s that one big guy on every defense that does his thing then stands there huffing while the rest of the team chases the action on the field.

11. I love it that Trent Green can’t stop knocking himself unconscious.

12. I love the grace that is a well executed play.

13. I love the injured players being on the sidelines to encourage and uplift the team on the field.

14. I love seeing T.O. drop a ball.

15. I love fantasy football even though the best players often aren’t the ones you’d think.

16. I love how they clap when they break the huddle.

17. And I LOVE the way I can relate what they do on the field to what I’m taught at work. Mistakes happen, but they better not. You better bring it each and every time. Word.

It’s Sunday again and I had a very good Saturday. I did some shopping, some Starbucks, some napping, some foods at Chili’s and a little bit of the KU v K State game. I don’t follow college football but a friend of mine does so Katie and I wandered over to his house to watch the last quarter of the game after our fun-packed morning. It was intense but I think I’ve decided that I shall not start watching it because I already give all of my Sunday’s to professional football.  Let’s be honest, there needs to be a day for shopping and reading.

Now as I sit here watching the news, procrastinating on the cleaning that I need to be doing and waiting for football to start, I’m contemplating quitting smoking. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now but the other times that I’ve tried, I’ve done well for about a week then I go out drinking with friends and ruin all my hard work. That has discouraged me so I haven’t tried in a while. I am still trying to get over the sickness that went around our office right before we went on vacation and I really want to get back into a regular exercise schedule. I feel so much better physically and mentally when I’m exercising regularly but the smoking factor prevents me from putting forth the effort.

I am also inspired by my “work husband” Chris. I’m not sure how this all came about but he now has a signed agreement with Greg (our fearless leader) to quit smoking for $500. I originally tried to get in on this deal because hey, Tams needs money too but now I’m thinking that maybe I will just go ahead and do it anyway. Who wants to smell bad all the time?? Who wants to have to stop what they’re doing all the time to go outside and smoke?? Who wants to spend money on cigarettes when there are books out there begging to be read??

Chris stopped right then and there and that impresses me. I couldn’t do that. I don’t think anyone that has to work with me or live with me wants me to try the ‘cold turkey’ route either. Tams can get nasty enough as it is, let’s not add nicotene withdrawals to the mixture. I’m going with the patch. It has done well for me in the past I’ve just never quite been as dedicated to it as I should have been. That absolutely has to change. I need to devise a reward system for myself though but what?? Something I can do once a week maybe on Sunday to pat myself on the back for the week of smoklessness. Suggestions??